BREATH
I went in search of you today. I longed for perspective, to make sense of the pain, worry, and heartache around and through me. I found a crag in the face of a large boulder for my foot, and I began to inch my way up, one foothold, one handhold at a time.
The meadow below was quiet; a slow winding stream and long wild grasses swaying silently in the unperceivable breeze. As my eyes focused, I noticed a large buck standing at the meadow's edge near the powder-sugar pine forest coated with last night's snow. Quietly lying nearby was a doe.
I came here to find you, and I prayed you would come. Dizzy, I steadied myself on the top of the enormous rock. The sun - was so close - it felt like a jacket of warmth - I could almost feel its fabric. I closed my eyes and lifted my head - it flooded over my face and through my eyelids. Light and heat had traveled 93 million miles through dark, cold space for this moment of bliss.
And then I heard you - but I don't know how to describe it. I wondered at first if you would gather from distant particles into flesh and blood. I steeled myself - afraid I would spook the moment - frighten you away if I stopped focussing on every little sound. I waited to feel your presence - a deep warmth around me or a touch, but none came. And then I heard what sounded like breathing - deep, melodic breathing. I held my breath as you breathed around me. The breath of God encircled me. I took a slow deep breath, mingling your breath with mine, and held it deep within my lungs.
And then the sound was gone. I reached out to grab hold but lost my balance and slipped off the boulder.
I came for perspective, but none was given. Or was it? I came looking for answers - and left desiring only your breath.
“But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.”
