TO MY FAMILY

I feared this frenetic "church-doing" thing would be hard on you, and I can see that it has. I would go back and change so many things and try to protect you from the harsh, messy world of the church. 

It must be confusing to you because it is to me - how can I feel called to serve God through the church and yet have times when I am so utterly unfit to do ministry?

Despite myself, I have a deep and wide devotion to the messy local church. More often than not, the church is a self-service emergency room for the soul - where the practitioners are feverish, contagious, delirious, or just too weak from hemorrhaging to do much more than ask your name only to forget it as soon as it is spoken. And yet, for now - it is where I am convinced I am called to be. 

My walk has been riddled with missteps and "about-face(s)," but these few things have remained; I believe that Jesus came to introduce us to his father through love, relationships, acts of kindness, and parables. I think God is active and interested in the tiniest details of our lives and is always waiting for us to release our white knuckles grip on the life we were never intended to live and turn toward the life he offers us to live with him. God doesn't protect us from suffering, but his word sustains us. God lets us go when we push away but never turns away - and always welcomes us back. I pray your ears will be stirred when he beckons you to those thin places of stillness where you are known and know his enveloping goodness and grace.